Saturday, December 17, 2011

New munchkin

Well a new little munchkin popped into the world yesterday at 1:28pm.  Weighed in at 6lb. 12oz. and 18 1/2 inches.  We called him Number Three since they haven't decided on a name for the little dickens and he has 2 older brothers.  This one never made the transition to head down position or even head up or breech like his brother, he settled in at the transverse position and never moved off it, that's crossways, head on one side, butt on tother.  This gives me 6 grandkids in the last 4 years, 5 boys and one girl.  I wonder if they've figured out what causes that?  Believe me it ain't in the water!  One of the few products that don't come with a manual!  Oh well, Mama seemed to know. 


Friday, December 16, 2011

Bad work situations

Reading Ben's Blog I decided that it had triggered a memory of the worst job I ever had...and it was the same place Ben had worked in the past.  The place was called Burris Mills.  It was a flour mill.  I knew I was in trouble when I landed in the break room that first day and everyone was sitting around picking their noses!  The bad part was by the end of the day, so was I.  My eye started to hurt and when I picked at it, out of the corner of my eye came a long strand of white junk that actually hurt as it came out.  Eye felt a lot better after.  Then I remembered building kites in my youth out of paper bags/sacks and using water and flour as a glue to hold them together.  Hey, we entertained ourselves cheaply back then.  Anyway after a while I discovered that the dust in these places can flash into a fire real easily and lots of mills had them in the past.  The next thing of note were the regularly scheduled shutdowns for fumigation!  We taped all the opennings closed with plastic and went about spraying some sort of poison into and on everything.  Yep, flour too.  It was some sort of Bromide concoction.  Gas masks were issued and blood tests required afterwards.  Was interesting.  But getting back to the work week.  We worked a month on days, a month of swing shift and a month on graves.  Just about the time you acclimatized to one you were off to another.  Really stinks!  But I quit to go back to school and get my degree so I guess it all worked out in the end.  That poison must not have affected the gonads, had 4 darling daughters out of the deal.  Well, to be honest Mama had 4 darling daughters, I just hung around the outside.


Thursday, December 8, 2011

And for the season, perhaps a giggle or a smile

                                           How The Angel Got To Be
                                       On Top Of That Christmas Tree

This here story answers that age old question, “How did that angel git on top of the Christmas tree?”

Santa was settin’ there in front of the fireplace, laid out in the Lazy Boy with his feet up. Suddenly he woke up and glanced at his watch. It was ‘leven thirty! It was Christmas Eve and he had to be outta there by twelve or he wouldn’t git all the toys delivered in time!

He jumped up and run to the back room. He tore through the closet lookin’ fer his red suit. He shook the moth balls outta the sleeve and slipped into the britches. He heard a great big Rip! He backed up to the mirror and sure enuf, he’d tore the seat right outta them britches. He glanced at his watch and it was 25 ‘til twelve. So he skinnied off them britches and run ‘em down to the little tailor elves and said, “Boys, sew this back up!” They did.

Santa come in and throwed on his coat ‘n’ hunted around in the closet fer his boots. He couldn’t find ‘em, so he hollered, “Hey Maw, where’s my boots at?”

She hollered back, “They’re out on the back porch where you left ‘em when ya’ come in last Christmas!”

Sure enuf, he run out on the back porch they’d built on the trailer house and there they were. He had pulled ‘em off wet last year and they’d dried out and the toes had curled up some, but he stuffed his feet down in ‘em and dadgum it the heel didn’t fall off the left boot! Santa glanced at his watch. It was 20 ‘til twelve! He ripped them boots off and took ‘em down to the little cobbler elves and said, “Boys, hammer this back on!” And they did.

Santa slipped on his boots and run into the house, grabbed his coat and took out across the yard to hook up the sleigh. The yard light had burned out and somebody had left the snow plow parked in the driveway. He hit that sucker at a dead run ‘n’ went head over heels landing with a big war whoop which spooked the reindeer ‘n’ they went over the top rail ‘n’ out in the bean field! Santa glanced at his watch. It was a quarter ‘til twelve!

The little cowboy elves saddled up and brought the reindeer into the barn, put ‘em in the hitch and hooked ‘em up to the sleigh. Santa jumped up into the buckboard seat, cracked the whip ‘n’ the reindeer took off, but Santa just sat there! The tugs had broke on the harness! Santa glanced at his watch. It was 10 ‘til twelve.

Santa said “Boys, gather up them reindeer and I’ll fix the harness.” Then he hooked the team back up, leaped in the sleigh and slid on down in front of the house. Just as they pulled up to the house one of the runners fell off the sled! Santa glanced at his watch! It was 5 ‘til twelve!

They welded the runner back on and Santa run in the house. He grabbed that big bag of toys, slung it up over his shoulder and … Yep, you guessed it. The bottom tore outta that bag and toys went everywhere!

Santa was down on his hands and knees scramblin’ around stuffin’ them toys in a Safeway sack, when a little angel come flyin’ in the door with a Christmas tree over his shoulder and said “Hey Santa, where do you want me to put this?"


Friday, December 2, 2011

Good Story Came to Mind

Well reading Ben's blog about car wrecks and surviving them reminded me of a story a guy I used to work with at Lockheed told of an accident he had.  He drove a open top Jeep and was exiting off I35 at Hattie Street I believe.  Back several years ago the off ramp ran up to a stop sign and bridge overpass with a steep embankment back down to I35.  Well just as he pulled to a stop at the top a car coming from his right jumped the curb and barreled right towards him.  He braced himself and this thing creamed him broadside then pushed him across the road and into the curb rolling the jeep down the embankment.  He said he must have rolled 5 or 6 times before coming to a halt upside back down on the shoulder of I35.  He said this whole trip of recent occurence had rattled him pretty good so he was having a little trouble unscrambling his brain to decide what to do next.  Thats when his savior arrived in a big black Cadillac and the lady got out and walked up to the jeep reached in and unbuckled his seat belt then when gravity brought him to a halt once again this lady dragged him out of the vehicle and to a safe distance...then rolled him over and stole his wallet.  Said he never did see her face. Just goes to show ya' when your down on your luck theres always someone who'll offer to kick ya'