Monday, October 24, 2011

Out of the mouths of babes

My niece, sister's kid, had a kinda nice story to tell on her little one, Cole, he's five.  Seems as they was getting ready for bed and had done their prayers he said, "Mama, I think I want to go to Heaven and see God."  She was floored for a minute and when she had once again gathered composure she replied, "Yes sweetheart, we all want to go to Heaven and see God some day."  He paused then came back with, "how about Thursday?"  As Tennessee Ernie used to say, "Bless their little pea picking hearts."

Every once in a while they can come up with some gems!  Hope I'm around long enough to hear some more, which reminds me of a story.

Two old boys grew up playing softball together.  They played through school, they played in college, they got married and played co-ed softball.  They played softball right up until the senior league, then one feel ill and the other went to visit him in the hospital.  He asked, "Well you gonna pull through this?" and the other answered "don't know, guess time will tell."  "Well if you don't, you gotta promise me you'll come back and tell me if there's any good softball games in Heaven."  "Okay, I promise."  Sure enough the gentleman didn't make it and a couple of nights later a filmy apparition settled down on the foot of the other guy's bed.  "Joe, is that you?"  "Well of course it is, I promised I'd come back."
"So tell me, are there any good softball games in Heaven?"  "Well, I've got some good news and some bad news."  What's the good news?"  "There's great softball games in Heaven.  We play seven days a week with a double header on Saturday and a night game on Sunday.  All the umps wear glasses and call a great game and the crowds really cheer us on."  "Wow, that's great, what's the bad news?"  "You're pitchin' Thursday."


Thursday, October 20, 2011

Lawn mowing?

Well...bought that new lawnmower a while ago (first of spring).  Mowed twice...everything died, haven't mowed since.  We got some rain and I'll be danged if the yard greened right up!  Hard to believe.  So I broke out the mower and mowed...for the third time this year.  Wow!  Then I weed eated and edged and didn't take that long.  Then I notice some big old tree growing in my bushes so I figured I'd do some trimming while I was at it.  Did too.  But...half way through that 4 inch across tree my battery died.  Recharged I charged into it again.  Dang that tree was one dense sucker and wet too.  I was huffing and puffing so I decided to take a little break.  Been a hour now and I ain't made it back out there. 

Can you say "Procrastination!"  But I'll be danged if its gonna win!  Just ain't figured out just when I'll claim victory.  Did discover them danged bushes claimed first blood.  Back of my hand looked like raw hamburger.  The older you get the easier you bleed and then don't know how it happened.  Who was it that said "old age ain't for sissies"?


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Dang, you mean I was right? oldest daughter passed a compliment on to me the other night at dinner.  She said her bosses attorney had been having a conversation with some high level muckatee muck in the finance world and had some advice that had proved I wasn't a danged nut after all.  She said the concensus was that I was right and this fellow agreed...the best investments in this trying time was...(wait for it)... guns and gold!  Holy cow, been doing that for a while and didn't know I was a financial genius.

Yep, got started when I found a place that sold U.S. government issued military firearms and I bought the gun (or one like it) that my Dad carried in WW2, an M1 Garand.  The one Patton called the finest battle implement ever made.  This one was made by the Springfield Armory.  Loved it so much I decided on a second one by a different manufacturer.  This next one was made by the Harrington and Richardson (H and R) people.  Both shoot extremely well for being 60 some odd years old.  Then these same people started offering the M1 carbine for sale and I got hooked.  Final talley was 6 from different manufacturers.  First was from Inland, a division of General Motors.  Next was made by Underwood, Elliot, Fisher, the typewriter company.  Then came one from Winchester (had a bow and arrow carved into it).  Next one from a place called Quality Hardware out of Chicago.  Then the most rare (fewest made) one made by Rockola, (yep, the jukebox company).  And lastly to honor my Dad who worked for the Post Office for 30 years I got one built by the National Postal Meter company.  They all still shoot well and I keep 'em cleaned and polished military style.  And that's just a few of my investments.  But I'm proud of every one.  We'll talk about the gold later!