All I’m Teachin' Ya'
Son, I think its time to tell ya' about some things ya' need to learn,
Like don't never stick yer tongue to ice 'n' how the sun can sometimes burn.
'N' about how you'll get a headache drinkin' too fast from the well,
'N' how it is that a woman looks so 'n' how she's built so’s you can tell.
When to tip your hat to a lady 'n' when to whomp one on the behind,
'N' how to get yer point across when she cain't read yer mind.
How to pick ya' out a nice spot when ya' take yerself a sot,
'N' to remember to remove yer spurs afore you decide to squat.
Just remember to pick a good ’un 'n' look her over with yer good eye,
'Cause it ain't agoin' to go too well if you recline on a cacti.
'N' while we're on this here subject; I’m tellin' ya' best scout around near 'n' far,
'Cause once ya' been snakebit down there, you'll soon find out who yer friends are.
Lord knows they're ain't no dadgum limit on the things I’m atellin' you,
So just pay attention to me till I tell ya' that we're through.
Now when it comes to workin' them horses lots of things they can occur,
Just make sure that the only thing under yer saddle is yer blanket 'n' not an old burr.
'N' make sure to count yer fingers 'n' maybe whisper a little prayer,
After ya' take a turn on yer dally rope ya' better hope that they're all there.
Now they're ain't no two ways about it, this bein' a cowboy can be a good life,
But if ya' don't learn all that I’ve taught ya', ya' better hope you find a “good
Robert Lea Lovejoy